Overcoming Stage Fright: Helping Your Child Enjoy Performances

Performance is a key part of being a musician. For some musicians, sharing their art with an audience is an exciting experience. For others, it can feel like a nightmare. If you are a parent of a young musician who struggles with stage fright, use the techniques below to coach your child through the feeling and ultimately help them master it.

Acknowledgment and Encouragement

Stage fright can be confusing and overwhelming for a child who has never experienced it before. The first step to working through any new emotion is normalizing and defining it. As a parent, there are several steps you can take to set your child on the right track:

1. Acknowledge your child’s fears rather than brushing them aside. It’s tempting to downplay their feelings in an effort to quickly relieve their anxiety, but this can do more harm than good. Instead, explain why stage fright happens, emphasize that it often means they care about doing well, and help them understand how their body prepares for a challenge with increased energy and focus.

2. Share your own or others’ experiences with stage fright. Performance anxiety is a common experience, even for seasoned performers, and hearing how others have coped and succeeded despite their anxiety can help your child believe they can do the same.

3. Assure your child that they can count on your support no matter how the performance goes. Whether they feel it was a success or not, let them know you are proud of their effort and courage for performing in front of others.

Visualization

Visualization is a psychological technique that involves mentally rehearsing a future event and picturing it in a positive light. To coach your child through the visualization process, begin by setting the stage. Give them a mental picture to build upon by showing them photos of the venue they will be performing at (bonus points if you can find a view looking out from the stage!). Next, instruct your child to envision walking onto the stage and seeing the audience for the first time. Rather than fright, ask them to imagine feeling relaxed and confident as they perform. Have your child repeat the visualization process in the days leading up to the performance, adding and taking away elements as necessary.

Performance Practice

This next tip goes hand-in-hand with visualization. At home or in a comfortable environment, hold a mini performance to help your child build confidence in a low-pressure setting. Invite a small group of siblings, friends, or others your child is comfortable with to act as their “audience.” Encourage your child to treat it like a real performance—practice everything from walking to their spot, performing their piece, and accepting applause.

This exercise can help normalize the performance process and give your child a sense of what to expect on stage. It’s also an opportunity to gently address any areas they might be anxious about, such as how to handle mistakes or what to do if they forget a line or note.

Backstage Techniques

Oftentimes, nerves can reach their climax just before the curtain rises. In most situations, your child will already be backstage at this point, and you will be in the audience. Giving your child relaxation exercises to put into practice can help them make it through when you are not there to coach them. Here are a few research-backed techniques for calming anxiety in the moment:

1. Practice square breathing: This research-backed breathing technique helps the nervous system snap out of fight-or-flight mode. To square breathe, simply inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and hold for another 4 counts. Repeat this process as long as necessary, making sure each inhale and exhale is slow and relaxed.

2. Take low-body breaths: A relaxed, low-body breath is commonly used for singing but can be used by all types of performers to reduce stress. As the name implies, low-body breathing involves a feeling of expansion in your abdominal area. To help your child understand how to take this type of breath, tell them to imagine they have swallowed a balloon. As they breathe in, they should feel the balloon (and therefore their lower ribs and stomach area) gradually expand with air. As they breathe out, they should feel balloon should slowly deflate. Like square breathing, repeat the low-body breath for as long as needed.

3. Focus on the 5 senses: To ground in the moment and shift away from anxious thoughts, redirect attention to the body and surroundings. Engage each of the five senses: notice one thing that can be seen, one thing that can be heard, one thing that can be smelled, one thing that can be tasted, and one thing that can be felt.

By equipping your child with these tools and techniques, you’re not only helping them manage stage fright but also teaching them valuable skills they can use throughout their life. Performing in front of an audience can be an empowering experience, and with your support, your child can transform their nerves into confidence and joy. Celebrate their efforts, encourage their progress, and remind them that every musician has been in their shoes at some point. 

About Learn Music:

Learn Music was founded in January 2014 with the mission of building a custom curriculum for each student, incorporating the music they love. The school helps students become exceptional musicians through private instruction, performance, and collaboration. It is owned by Cornelius native Adam Wilson and his wife, Rachael.

We would love the opportunity to teach you music! Whether you’re interested in in-person or online lessons, our team is here to help your student grow and thrive. If you’d like to learn more or schedule a lesson, contact us by clicking here.